During a bicycle ride, I have plenty of time to think. Sometimes I will have a concern or problem, only to come home with the exact solution. Sometimes I’ll solve a problem within an hour and I’ll use my cell phone to call my answering machine and leave a message. It’s during these epic rides that I might appreciate the landscape, suffer a little to improve my fitness, clear my mind of the world’s stresses…and then I notice it. There’s something on the side of the road that catches my eye. I can only wonder how it got there. You’d never notice these things in a car because you’re going too fast. For fun, I thought I’d share with you (and ask because maybe it’s YOUR fault) what I see. I’m very curious why these things are on the side of the road.
Beer bottles: I would like to know why there are so many beer bottles and cans on the sides of our roads. They’re not on our main streets, they’re on the back roads in Somis, Ventura, Ojai, and the Santa Monica Mountains. I know HOW they got there…people threw them out of their car windows when they were done with them. My bigger concern is that someone was drinking it before they threw it out. I mean, who’s going out and driving and throwing their empty beer cans on the side of these roads?
Wheel balancing metal thingies: You don’t know this, but a number of you are missing those metal things on the front wheels of your cars. I know this because I see them on the ground all the time. Your spine is out of alignment and so is your car.
Flattened animals: I know why these are there. Remember the jokes about why the chicken crossed the road? Maybe the chicken made it, but the snakes, frogs, possums, squirrels, raccoons, and other assorted fauna didn’t make it across the road.
Glass: This goes without saying, but if you can please stop throwing glass on the side of the road 25 miles away from my house I would really appreciate it. I do not like changing a flat tire.
Under garments: Now this is a funny one. Who is driving 30 mph on winding/twisting roads and suddenly decides to throw their underwear out the window? They may lead interesting lives, but geez. Also, sometimes you’ll see a single shoe. I always wonder where the rest of the body is. Is it in a bag and it’s been thrown over the edge of the cliff? I mean, how did that shoe get there?
Car tire hubs: These just fall off. If you’re missing one, I can probably tell you where it is.
Memorials: This one scares me because I don’t want to have one for myself. I know exactly why these are there. Someone died at this exact spot. It reminds me to be careful and ride safely. I remember when I was riding in Solvang a couple of years ago and the route called for us to ride up this one hill that was a popular with motorcyclists. Just on the incline of the mountain, I passed by like 12 memorials. I started thinking to myself that maybe this isn’t the place to be riding.
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2 comments:
One day I removed Logan's soccer shoes, and came home with only one,did you see that out there?
Did you hear about the woman in Florida that was arrested while driving (still trying to get the visual out of my head) shaving her bikini line? I wonder what she was thinking when she whipped the razor out on the highway......Oh I lost a muffler once too, but I don't want that back.
Yeah, I think I've seen the soccer cleat.
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